Can I Calm my Anxiety?

”The words you speak become the house you live in.”

-Hafiz

According to what science tells us lately, anxiety is sometimes needed in our life. It sends us messages. It is part of how our brain responds to an unfamiliar, stressful, or even dangerous situation. Perhaps we need anxiety in healthy doses, and an option would be to look for a personalized strategy of adjustment? For example: reframe your perspective on it, change your relationship by befriending your anxiety.

NICABM experts invite us to see any intense emotion as a communication tool and make friends with it. Recognizing that emotion is essential, to name it, to stay with it and pay attention to what that emotion is trying to tell us. Ask your self: "What is this feeling, this emotion, this anxiety trying to tell me about myself, about my relationships, about the world?"

So, the first step: learn more about your anxiety and make friends with it. One way of doing it is to find the meaning of your anxiety in the present: what can I do NOW about it, what can I change NOW so I can feel better? A word that I like a lot in this respect is the French "apprivoiser". It means "tame," "domesticate," ultimately, learn to deal with it focusing on the present.

Here comes the old, old wisdom of uncertain origins, and you probably know its short version: 

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

These thoughts are beautifully expressed in Emily Dickinson's poem "Yesterday is History":

Yesterday is History,

'tis so far away

yesterday is Poetry,

'tis Philosophy

Yesterday is Mystery

Where it is today

While we shrewdly speculate

Flutter both away.

Our contemporary, Eckhart Tolle, defines this attitude as The Power of Now: "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life." 

And also: "Time isn't precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time, but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious, indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is." The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

"If we think about worry, explains Dr. Shelly Harrell, it's focusing our attention on the future. If we think about rumination, it's focusing our attention on the past. Worry and rumination both take us out of the present". Grounding yourself in the present moment can reduce anxiety while playing over and ruminating the past, or worrying about future events will usually increase it. 

When Dr. Shelly Harrell works with anxiety, she often uses techniques that proved themselves, what she calls the Four Core Strategies. 

1.    The first one is precisely about the power of NOW, and it's called the FACTS - Foundational Attention Centering Techniques. 

The FACTS are things like meditation, breathing, and visualization, or strategies to focus our attention in different ways. These skills can be learned, they are beneficial for people who have a lot of anxiety. Learning them helps us to ground in the present, in our bodies, in our breathing, and be with what can be done and worked out right now. 

2.    The second strategy is related to self-expression. We can call it the expressive-creative techniques. 

Self-expression can be very helpful in releasing tension and anxiety. What do you prefer? What brings you satisfaction: drawing, painting, inventing something, sports, dancing, fixing something in your house, cooking a new recipe, painting the walls, or furniture? Whatever brings you healthy pleasure and helps you stay anchored in the present is good.

3.    The third strategy is related to reflection exploration techniques. I would call it a personal guide to a better life. 

You can buy a beautiful note-book, one you really enjoy looking at and writing in. Try a self-coaching and self-monitoring practice. Ask yourself questions like, "What am I thinking? What triggers my anxiety? When does it happen?". Try talking with someone about your thoughts, problems, goals, and ways to achieve them. You can also read articles and get better informed. Knowing and understanding yourself better will definitely reduce tension and anxiety. Please, do not forget: it's a process which is very individual, so be patient and gentle to yourself.

4.    And the fourth strategy… You will laugh. Yes, nothing new but still relevant: a healthy lifestyle and self-care. 

Healthy thoughts, healthy food, people and pets you enjoy being with (or learning to enjoy being with), and movement all will help to tame your anxiety. Turning your attention to healthy habits, healthy relationships, healthy pleasures is your contribution to a healthier you and a healthier world. 

Well, that's true; learning a new habit can take time and can encounter some resistance from your old habits. It might also need support and understanding from your friends and family. Don't forget, coaching is a powerful tool for learning new practices. Want to talk more about it? Book a 45 min. free session.

#lifecoaching #coachinglife #coachingonline #lifecoach #selfcoaching #coachingwomen #anxietymanagement #FACTS #stressmanagement #selfcare #healthylife #selfexpression #creativity #healthyrelationships #stressreduction