Active Listening and Busy Parents

"Mothering can be more demanding than war reporting."

- Siobhan Darrow

From War Zones to Parenting: Insights from Siobhan Darrow

Without my friend reminding me and Siobhan Darrow accepting my registration (even if she was overbooked), I would have missed this workshop. I got lucky or was meant to be there. Siobhan is a former CNN war reporter and the mother of twins, Ecolint students like my child. It was exciting to get her perspective on parenting compared to being a war reporter.

The Art of Listening Photo by Viorel Soltan

Siobhan is now a marriage and family therapist and Life Coach in Geneva, and she offered the Ecolint community her signature workshop on Resolving Conflict through the Art of Listening. It was an evening of wisdom and self-rediscovery with at least two significant takeaways for my part.

The first one: it happened to me often to listen to my children without fully engaging in what they wanted to share. And whether my experience as a conference interpreter would allow to follow both my thoughts and what was said, it did not guaranteed an all encompassing presence in the moment. This is why one of my daughters would often have the impression I don't take her seriously. I did take her seriously but did not know how to engage in listening completely. I was too engaged in multitasking.

"Mothering can be more demanding than war reporting, where you actually get a break sometimes" said Siobhan in an insightful interview back in 2014.

I am not so familiar with war zones, not literally. I had a somewhat feeling of war vicinity for a couple of months at the beginning of the '90s. We can nevertheless inherit war behaviour that will pop up occasionally from our ancestors' stories. It might stay in the air with old memories of danger, anger, sadness and uncertainty.

The second memorable takeaway from Siobhan was:

"A very wise woman once told me to spend 15 minutes a day with my child as if it was the last 15 minutes we'd ever be together. When things get tough, that's what I do, and it is the most therapeutic and bonding practice I have with my children." Then she added: "It's also a good tactic to try on one's partner sometimes too!"

Yep! So eye-opening. I felt like I need to pin it on my fridge or somewhere else visible as a reminder.

On my way home, the Russian expression Siobhan was looking for at some moment popped up from my Soviet childhood: жить душа в душу - living soul to soul.

What are your stories? How do you make peace with them?

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